Guardrails

Around this time last year I listened through a sermon series from North Point Community Church entitled "Guardrails".  It was all about how we can keep our lives from straying into dangerous or off limit areas.  Whether that be spiritually, emotionally, intellectually, relationally, financially, etc.  In this series Andy Stanley took the time to talk about creating a "personal standard of behavior that becomes a matter of conscience" in all areas of our lives.

When I listened to the series I was so happy to be hearing the things he was teaching on.  It was stuff that I was like, "yeah, I want to have those standards, and guardrails in my life."  Some of them were already there, but there were others that I wanted to put into practice or wondered what would happen if I had to put them into practice.

Well over a year later, I've been put in a position to put some of these standards into practice.  And just being honest, it's not easy.  At least not the situation I faced recently.  See, this is the deal, I'm a "cool chic" that guys like to hang out with and be "buddies".  I'm into motorcycles, I can talk sports, I used to work as a mechanic, I know how to handle a gun, I can build a fire, and climb rocks, and not cry if I cut my finger.  My best friend in the early years of my life was the boy next door.  We didn't play dolls, we dug in the dirt, made bike jumps, and played baseball.

Don't get me wrong, I know how to do girly stuff, but it's not what I have the most fun doing.  Because of that I'm many times put in awkward situations.  Which leads me back to my recent situation.  The other day a guy friend of mine asked me to go hiking with him and his kid brother.  I love hiking and they were going to go hike a mountain I haven't been on yet.  So I said that I'd be interested in going.  However, later in the day I got to thinking about it.  You see this friend of mine is married.  Granted his brother was coming, but still, his wife was not.

Here I was faced with a situation where I could go on the innocent hike, or text and back out because of a guardrail I've established in my life.  I love hiking, I enjoy hiking with others.  But those "others" need to include single guys, single gals, married couples, parents and kids.  I never want to place another woman's husband in a situation where they are questioning his activities.

To many it might sound crazy to not go on the innocent hike.  Heck my friend's little brother was even going along.  But for me, this is a guardrail I've had to set.  First and foremost to protect my heart, but also to protect the people I come in contact with and count as friends.

As a single person I hope to some day be married.  I've waited a very long time for the opportunity to serve alongside someone else within the covenant of marriage.  I don't want my marriage to end up as another divorce statistic.  I don't want any of my friends marriages to end up as divorce statistics.  I've heard and seen too many people's marriages end in disaster because of "innocent" activities.

Whether you are married or hope to be married some day, take some time and think about the guardrails you have in place to protect your current or future marriage.  I am by no means perfect when it comes to all this.  But I know that by setting boundaries in this area of my life, and being accountable to the boundaries I've set, I will protect my heart and protect the hearts of others around me, and hopefully protect marriages in the process.